For the Love of Sesshoumaru
by JMK425
Summary: Kagome and Sesshoumaru have been friends for over 10 years. What happens when the friendship turns to something more and Sesshoumaru's ex steps in between the two? Can they stay friends? Turn into more than lovers? Or will Sesshoumaru's ex keep him away?
1. Hurt

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha!

**Chapter One: Hurt**

Kagura. Just the name of Sesshoumaru's ex-wife brought a bad taste to Kagome's mouth. Here she was: sitting in the kitchen at the Taisho's home and Kagome was watching Sesshoumaru. He moved around her, not saying a word, retreated into the living room, and sat down on the couch next to Kagura.

Funny, two hours prior, Sesshoumaru had been saying her name over and over as she'd gone down on him in the bathroom at his parents home. Now…nothing. Not even so much as a glance in her direction. Why was she constantly giving herself to a man that had no intention of actually being with her? For the life of her, Kagome couldn't figure it out. Of course, anytime her mind wandered that direction, her heart responded with the answer: love. Releasing a sigh, Kagome turned her attention back to Toga and smiled at him.

"Are you okay?" Toga asked. His fatherly concern for the one he considered his future daughter in law evident in his voice.

Kagome nodded. "Yep. Just a lot on my mind. Now, have you heard anymore from Inuyasha?" she asked though her mind was far from the topic. In her mind, Kagome was going over everything that had transpired between her and Sesshoumaru over the last year and a half. All the late night talks, hugs, kisses, fights, make up sessions, phone calls, txt messages, and smiles. Her heart began hurting. Stopping that line of thought, Kagome reminisced about what had landed her in the situation to begin with.

* * *

_A year and a half prior…_

"_Hey! Sorry we're late. Got turned around and spent three hours roaming around trying to find the interstate," Kagome laughed as she and her son Shippo entered the Taisho home. _

"_How'd you manage that one?" Sesshoumaru asked as he walked with Kagome out to her car to bring her bags in. _

"_Was pouring down rain in Jackson and I was behind a semi so couldn't see the road sign to turn," Kagome explained as she and Sesshoumaru carried her bags inside. _

"_Well, that sucks," Sesshoumaru said as he walked through the kitchen. He opened the door that led upstairs and carried her bags up while Kagome turned her attention to Sesshoumaru's step mother. _

"_Hi Izayoi. How're you?" Kagome asked as she gave Sesshoumaru's step mother a hug, "Thanks again for letting us stay." _

"_No problem dear. Stay as long as you need to," Izayoi replied. _

"_Aunt Kagome!" Rin hollered as she ran into the kitchen and tackled her. _

"_Rin! My goodness you've gotten big!" Kagome exclaimed as she picked up the three year old, "How old are you now?" _

"_Three! Me going to go play with Shippo now," Rin said as Kagome put her back on her feet. _

"_Okay, sweetie," Kagome turned her head as Sesshoumaru entered the kitchen again. "You look like death warmed over," she said with a laugh. _

"_Yeah? So do you," Sesshoumaru replied as he sat down in a chair. _

_-----------_

_Later that same evening…._

"_Both kids are out. You tired or you want to play?" Sesshoumaru asked as he pulled Kagome into bed with him. _

"_Mmmm…both. You sure Kagura's okay with this? I know you two are dating again," Kagome said nervously. _

"_She said she was, but I don't want to talk. I want to fuck you senseless at the moment," Sesshoumaru responded as he moved on top of her. _

"_Okay," Kagome replied with a smile. _

* * *

Present…

"Mom…Aunt Kagome? Can I sit on your lap?" Rin asked which snapped Kagome out of her reverie.

"Sure, sweetheart. Come here," Kagome replied as she let Rin climb up in her lap. Rin laid her head on her shoulder and hugged her as tight as she could. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" Kagome asked as she lay her head on top of Rin's.

"Can I come to your house?" Rin asked quietly.

"Sweetie, I don't think your daddy would like that too much," Kagome replied while glaring at Sesshoumaru and Kagura. How the hell was he constantly missing what everyone else saw? Damn it.

"Then can't you and Shippo stay here again, Mo…Aunt Kagome," Rin stumbled and had her voice low enough it was barely a whisper.

Kagome sighed. "As much as I would like to, I can't, sweetie. My home's not here anymore," Kagome stated tearfully.

"Why?" Rin asked quietly.

Why? Huh. Such an big question from such a small person. There were several things that sprung to Kagome's mind: Your dad's a liar, Your mom's a psychotic control freak that's obviously not going to let your dad go anytime soon, Your dad's on a fucking leash that he isn't willing to break off of….and several other things. Instead she replied, "Cause Shippo's in school at home, sweetheart. We can't move yet."

"Okay. I miss you, Mom….Aunt Kagome," Rin responded and buried her face in Kagome's shoulder.

"I know, sweetie. Sometimes though, things just don't work the way we want them to," Kagome stated sadly, "I miss you and your daddy too."

Kagome did miss Sesshoumaru. Horribly. She missed everything she remembered about him. Every touch, smile, and hug. She even missed the fights they'd get into because of his ex. Kagome lost track of how many times she been accused of something and Sesshoumaru took Kagura's side without asking Kagome if it was true or not. Though she was proud he stood up to Kagura when she'd accused Kagome of beating Rin.

Four months of living with Sesshoumaru and disappearing into the background when Kagura came around had made Kagome move out. Every time Kagome turned around she was in yet another fight with Sesshoumaru because of something Kagura had said or done. Four months of doing anything and everything to please Sesshoumaru even taking Rin to school for him so he could sleep, doing his laundry, cleaning his room, sticking up for him when his friends would start bad mouthing him, and bending to his every whim at night. The end result was Kagome being forced to move to her mother's house two states away.

A year later and things hadn't changed much. Kagura was now living with Sesshoumaru and Rin. Though he claimed it was only because of a custody agreement the two had, Kagome knew better. It was blatantly obvious he'd tossed Kagome aside so he could get back together with his ex-wife. The same ex-wife that had tossed him in jail a year or two prior on false charges and had initiated their divorce. Kagome was constantly beating her head in cause Sesshoumaru would, more often than not, get a hold of her for sex. Kagome gave in every time. She loved him too much. That, she knew was pain for her, but she couldn't stop. Sesshoumaru meant the world to Kagome and it hurt knowing he loved someone else, but if she could have him for just a few moments then she would.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Not my usual stuff, but not in my usual mood tonight. Review if you wish, the story may continue. Have a good day or night!


	2. Tears

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha!

Warning: Slight Lemon Material!

**Chapter Two: Tears**

Kagome was getting ready for bed. She had just pulled her night shirt over her head when her cell phone rang. Sighing, she reached over to the table and grabbed her phone. Glancing at the caller ID, she felt her chest tighten and answered the phone, "Hello?" she asked shakily.

"How's my little slut this evening?" Sesshoumaru's playful, seductive tone questioned on the other end.

Kagome bit her lip to keep from moaning. She knew that tone all too well. Her breath quickened slightly and she felt the heat pool between her legs. Damn him. He knew her too well. "Doing better now. How's my master?" Kagome's voice turned playful as she smiled.

"Take a guess," Sesshoumaru responded with a bit of a breathless groan.

Kagome mentally pictured that evil smirk he'd get on his face when he knew he had her going. She wanted to smack him. "Mmmm….I'd have to say horny as hell and the girlfriend's not there to take care of it, so you called me," Kagome replied with a hint of sarcasm interlacing her playful tone.

"Right, but I didn't call you just because she's not here. I called cause I miss my slut," Sesshoumaru replied smoothly.

Lie. "Translation: You called cause the girlfriend's been stuck up again and you need laid," Kagome stated teasingly.

"Mmm…Right again. Now, no more talk. You get on your knees and get your toy out, slut. Your master wants you to cum for him tonight," Sesshoumaru demanded with that seductive tone again.

Kagome moaned again and did as she was told. Damn it. She dug her toy out from her drawer and shoved it inside her as she listened to Sesshoumaru describe what he'd do to her if she were there with him. Hot, bothered, and more than a little frustrated that he wasn't actually there, Kagome moaned and groaned into the phone while she played with herself and listened. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said the one thing to get her off.

"Cum for me, slut!" Sesshoumaru demanded before he groaned himself and started panting.

Kagome came then, biting her lip to keep from screaming, and slowly came down from her peak as she listened to Sesshoumaru tell her she was a good slut over and over again on the phone. After putting her toy back and sitting up on her bed again, Kagome smiled and asked, "So, when do we get to do that for real again?"

"Hm… You're coming back up next month, right?" Sesshoumaru questioned as he lit a cigarette.

"Yep. On the 14th and will be there till the 17th," Kagome replied while lighting a smoke herself.

"Well, Kagura's leaving for a doctor's appointment on the 15th and won't be back till the 16th, so why don't you crash here that night?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Sounds good to me," Kagome stated. Not. "How's Rin?" Kagome inquired.

"She's doing better since Kagura's been here. Not behaving nearly as bad as she was," Sesshoumaru replied thoughtfully.

"Really? From what I've heard, she's been worse since I left," Kagome responded.

"Well, you heard wrong," Sesshoumaru practically growled through the phone. "I've got to go. Have a good night and I'll see you the 15th," Sesshoumaru stated abruptly.

"Okay. Good night," Kagome replied. Sesshoumaru hung up then and Kagome sighed. She laid the phone back on the table and curled up on the bed with her pillow. Damn. What god had she pissed off to get to this point? Reduced to phone sex with the man she loved because of his ex-wife. No not ex-wife now. Girlfriend. Even that thought made her sick. She recalled from a previous conversation that he was only dating her again for "shits and giggles" as he had put it, but she knew that was a lie. There had to be another reason and she wouldn't have put it past Kagura to threaten him with taking Rin away from him to get him to date her. Had she not warned him that would happen? Sheesh.

Kagome felt the tears well up again. When she had moved in with him and this whole mess started, Kagome knew it wasn't going to be anything more than casual sex between friends, but something changed. Kagome began seeing Sesshoumaru for the man he could be: the loving, caring, compassionate, wonderful man that was an asshole occasionally. Not the closed off, stubborn, bull headed prick he turned into when Kagura was around. Really, Kagome felt sorry for him. She wanted nothing more than to prove to him that not all women would take advantage of him the way his girlfriend/ ex-wife did. Unfortunately, he never gave her that chance.

That's when the tears fell again. Sesshoumaru never gave her a chance. He was so blind to her that it hurt physically just to be around him. Every time she was around him, it took every once of her will power and years of being stubborn to stop herself from tackling him and kissing the hell out of him. She missed him. Missed him to the point that she was convinced she was losing her mind. Sometimes at night, she'd be jolted awake from hearing his voice in her ear. Only to wake up and realize he wasn't there. Other nights, she could still feel his hands roaming over her coaxing her to wake up and take care of him. It was extremely frustrating.

Speaking of frustrating…Kagura. There's a woman Kagome wouldn't mind seeing dead in a ditch somewhere. Normally, Kagome wasn't a violent person, but to her, Kagura had no right to get away with the shit she constantly put Sesshoumaru, Rin, Toga, Izayoi, her, and everyone that was associated with them through. Kagura did everything she could to keep Kagome miserable and away from Sesshoumaru. Even going on the internet and bashing her all over it. Kagome was to the point that she was tired of it. Kagome was two states away from them and Kagura still didn't know when to quit. Kagome wondered how much longer it'd be before Kagura finally got a clue that her little tricks weren't working on Sesshoumaru or Kagome anymore. Kagura, as far as Kagome knew, had no idea that she and Sesshoumaru were even talking. Let alone making plans to see each other when she wasn't around. That, Kagome was sure was thanks to Sesshoumaru lying to Kagura to keep her in the dark. Unfortunately, he was lying so much, he'd started lying to Kagome as well.

Huffing a bit, Kagome shook her head to clear her thoughts and got out of bed. Padding quietly down the hallway, she poked her head into her three year old son's room to find him sound asleep. A smile crossed her features before she frowned. Shippo needed a dad. Kouga wasn't around much and never called to check on him. Sesshoumaru seemed to take to Shippo just fine. Even played with him in front of Kouga once. That brought a smile to Kagome's face and she chuckled a bit. Kouga had been furious when Shippo had run to Sesshoumaru instead of him. Course, Kagome couldn't blame Shippo. Sesshoumaru had been his stable father figure for a short time, whereas Kouga only came around once in a blue moon. With a sigh, Kagome closed Shippo's door and walked back to her room.

After laying down and shifting around a bit, Kagome curled up around her pillow again. She dozed off as her mind supplied her with the feeling of Sesshoumaru's arms wrapped around her and squeezing her into his side like he used to. A smile on her face, Kagome fell asleep.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Sesshoumaru laid curled up with a pillow and imagined Kagome laying there with him. Yes. He had Kagura, but really the woman was a major pain in the ass. Kagome, sweet, loving, Kagome was where his mind was focused this evening. So it was no surprise to him when his youki shifted and he found himself looking down at her as she drifted to sleep. His chest ached. Damn it. He needed her. He really hated these out of body things. It was like his inner self was kicking his outer self in the ass and saying, "Wake up, dumb ass! Look what you're losing!" With a sigh, Sesshoumaru pulled back to himself and laid his head down. What was it Kagome had called him once? A stupid Jackass, Asshole, Jerk, and several other names came to mind. He really didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did, but he'd been cornered and reacted. Kagome saw right through him and that scared him. Kagura, on the other hand, believed everything he told her. He couldn't decide which he wanted more.

The woman that read him like a book and was an amazing person, lover, and friend or the woman that gave birth to his child, believed everything he told her, used him as her own personal waiter and chauffer, threatened to take his daughter from him, threw him in jail for no reason, and made he and his friends miserable. Well, obviously the right choice was Kagome. He knew that, but how to get rid of Kagura? Frustration. Damn it. If murder was legal, he would've done it by now, so he wouldn't have to keep hurting the one he cared about.

He knew he was hurting Kagome. He saw it in her eyes and heard it in her voice. It bothered him. She was his rock. The one solid thing in his life, always there when he needed her, no questions asked, just silent understanding. The woman was a master at keeping everyone thinking she was stupid, but he knew her well enough to know she always knew more than she let on. Though sometimes the things she asked about were things he hadn't wanted her to know. He knew it'd hurt her more, but explained it to her when she asked. He had a feeling she wasn't believing him much anymore. For that, he couldn't blame her. He couldn't remember the number of lies he had to tell to cover his ass after a comment to Kagura was taken the wrong way and Kagome got slammed because of it.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Sesshoumaru curled up with the pillow and imagined the smell of Kagome's shampoo on the pillow and drifted to sleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Well, there's chapter two! Hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Pain

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha!

**Chapter Three: Pain**

Kagome lay on her bed after a hard day at work listening to her friend, Bank, ramble on and on about something Kagura was spreading around. She didn't really care and was barely listening to Bankotsu, but what he said next caught her attention immediately.

"Oh and guess what? She's going around telling everyone she's engaged," Bankotsu said with disgust evident in his voice.

Kagome sat upright in the bed so quick she had to blink to get over the dizziness. "What? Well, what's Sesshoumaru saying?" Kagome asked fearing the answer.

"I don't know. He's been working so much that I barely talk to him and when he's here, he's asleep," Bank replied.

"He's been sleeping at your place?" Kagome questioned.

"Kags, remember when he told you that Kagura doesn't let him get more than an hour's worth of sleep? That's what been happening since he got the new job, so he sneaks over here after work for about three hours and sleeps," Bank replied.

"Oh. Right. I remember when he used to sleep as much as he wanted when I was there," Kagome stated with a bit of a wistful tone, "Did you know he says the weirdest things in his sleep?"

"Oh? Like what?" Bank inquired.

"My all time favorite of his was 'Give me the truck keys, You're too drunk to drive.' I thought it was hilarious cause I'd literally just had a full conversation with him thinking he was awake, then he turned over and said that!" Kagome squealed.

Bankotsu busted up laughing for a few moments then said, "He's on his way here now. If you hurry, you might catch him before he gets here. I'll talk to you later."

"Later," Kagome responded before she hung up. She bit her lip. Did she really want to call Sesshoumaru and ask if he was engaged to Kagura? Better yet, would she believe his answer? Oh well better to hear it from the horse's mouth than from anyone else. She took a breath before hitting the speed dial button for Sesshoumaru.

"What!" Sesshoumaru snapped into the phone as soon as he picked up.

"Hey! Don't be snapping at me, Butthead!" Kagome retaliated.

"Oh. Sorry, thought it was Kagura again. She's called three times in the last five minutes. Been driving me insane!" Sesshoumaru responded with a laugh, "Now, what's my little slut needing today?"

"Well…" Kagome hesitated and chewed her lip.

"Kagome, just ask me. I know you're about to ask something, so do it already," Sesshoumaru said when she didn't continue.

Damn it. "Well, Kagura's apparently going around saying you two are engaged. Is that true?" Kagome asked nervously.

Silence. A breath, small growl, and finally, Sesshoumaru snarled, "Hell no! Where did you hear that!?"

"Bank told me. I wanted to check with you though cause I didn't think you'd be that stupid, but hard to tell with you anymore," Kagome laughed nervously.

"Kagome, you know me better than that. I'd sooner die than be remarried to that psychotic bitch," Sesshoumaru sighed, "I just pulled into Bank's so I'm going to let you go so I can get some sleep. Call me later around six on my folks' house phone and we'll talk some more, okay?"

"Alrighty. Enjoy your nap. Talk to you later," Kagome replied.

"Bye slut," Sesshoumaru said playfully.

"Bye master," Kagome replied with a giggle before hanging up. She laid her phone back on the table and flopped down on the bed. Shippo came running into the room then and climbed onto the bed with her. She smiled at him and pulled him down to lay with her before pulling the blanket up over the two of them and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Sesshoumaru was pissed. His work sucked, Kagura had been annoying him off and on all day, and to top that off, Kagome had heard some crap that Kagura had obviously made up and was hurt by it again. Damn it! He entered Bankotsu's living room and snarled at the man before plopping down on the couch.

"What's up, Sesshy?" Bank asked as soon as Sesshoumaru got comfortable and turned to face him again.

"Why did you tell Kagome that?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Well, I figured if anybody could get the truth out of you, Kagome could. I know you try not to lie to her and figured that was the best way. I take it the rumor's not true then?" Bank inquired.

"Hell fucking no! Kagura's going to get her ass chewed when I get back, but right now, I want to sleep and no more telling Kagome about anything Kagura's said unless it pertains to her, got it?" Sesshoumaru responded and turned over facing the back of the couch.

"Got ya," Bank said before turning his computer on.

* * *

_Meanwhile…._

Kagura was annoyed. Sesshoumaru hadn't answered her calls. Rin was jumping around on the bed and screaming, "Mommy!" at the top of her lungs and all Kagura wanted to do was sleep. She had a headache for fuck's sake. Did Sesshoumaru's parents not realize that? Why'd they have to send Rin upstairs?

"Rin! Enough! Go back downstairs, Now!" Kagura yelled while trying to readjust the laptop so it wouldn't fall off the bed.

"Mommy, I'm hungry though," Rin whined.

"Well, tell grandpa to get you something then. Mommy's head hurts. Get out of here, but bring me up something to eat too," Kagura said.

"Okay," Rin replied before running out the door.

Kagura turned back to Kagome's Facespace page and blanched. "Why the hell does this stupid Rhino keep posting this crap? Nobody cares. Sesshoumaru's definitely not going to believe this garbage when I show it to him," Kagura said as she read through one of Kagome's blogs about how it was tough deciding to move back or stay where she was because of Sesshoumaru and her 'affair'. "Aww. Dumb bitch sounds sad, lonely, and desperate to me. If it weren't my man, I'd almost be sorry for her," Kagura said. A smile spread across Kagura's face. "Actually, I think I'll put a blog up in response. Sounds like she's a tad suicidal. Why not make everybody think that?" Kagura stated as she began typing her own blog.

* * *

_Six o'clock that evening…._

Kagome awoke to her cell phone ringing. She reached over and grabbed it before tucking the blanket back around Shippo and leaving the room. "Hello?" she answered as she stumbled toward the bathroom.

"Were you sleeping, slut? I told you to call me at six," Sesshoumaru said with a bit of a laugh in his voice.

"Sorry. Been a long day and I was tired. What's up?" Kagome asked as she sat on the edge of the bathtub.

"Hang on," Sesshoumaru said before Rin's voice came over the line.

"Mo…Aunt Kagome!" Rin stuttered then exclaimed through the phone, "Do you know what I want for my birthday?"

"You said you wanted one of those pillow things that turned into a lady bug and a Tinkerbell toy. Was there something else?" Kagome questioned with a smile.

"I want a little brother and sister for my birthday," Rin said quietly.

"Oh, sweetheart, Aunt Kagome can't really do anything…" Kagome began.

"NO! From my Mom!" Rin screamed into the phone. Kagome choked on a sob and stifled it before Sesshoumaru came back on the phone.

"You still there?" He asked quietly.

Breath. Deep breath. "Yep. So Rin's on a baby kick I take it?" Kagome questioned.

"Really, I think it's Kagura that's on the baby thing. I've already told her no though, but she's starting to annoy me about it," Sesshoumaru responded.

"So, then why would Rin say something like to me?" Kagome inquired.

"Honestly? I don't think it's her mom she's wanting the baby from, I think it's you," Sesshoumaru answered quietly, "In fact, it's amazing you haven't gotten pregnant yet."

"And if I did?" Kagome questioned hopefully.

"I don't know. I think there would be a whole new mess of problems," Sesshoumaru responded gently.

"True on that one," Kagome responded with a laugh. Gentle. Right. Smack in the face was more of what it was.

"Anyway, we still on for the 15th or have you changed your mind?" Sesshoumaru questioned.

"Yep. Still on," Kagome replied. Maybe.

"Good. I'll see you then, slut. Have a good night," Sesshoumaru said.

"You too, Bye!" Kagome stated.

"Bye," Sesshoumaru said and hung up.

Kagome closed her phone and sighed. Damn it. Rin had pretty much smacked her then Sesshoumaru turned around and rubbed salt in the wound. Great. Tears began falling again as Kagome curled in on herself and sat on the floor leaning against the tub. She choked and sobbed her heart out wanting nothing more than the pain to go away. Kagome was more than willing to have Sesshoumaru's child, be his bride, and take care of both him and his daughter. No, Kagura had to be in the way. Damn it.

* * *

_With Sesshoumaru…_

Damn it! Sesshoumaru stormed through the living room after hanging up with Kagome and went out to the porch. He sat in a chair and pulled his smokes out of his pocket before putting one in his mouth and lighting it. Izayoi walked out and joined him then.

After sitting down in the chair across from Sesshoumaru, Izayoi questioned, "How much longer are you planning to put Kagome through this?"

"I don't know. I love her, but thanks to Kagura threatening to take Rin from me and put me in jail again, I keep hurting her. I don't mean to, but I can't see myself without Kagome in the picture somehow. Even if it's just friends with benefits," Sesshoumaru responded.

"If I recall correctly, Kagome told you she didn't want to be friends with you anymore," Izayoi stated.

"Yeah, but that was when I was jumping her ass over the shit Kagura had started and I'd thought it was Kagome starting it. We're okay now though," Sesshoumaru replied.

"That's good, but you need to figure out what to do about Kagura. Kagome's not dumb and won't be around much longer if I know her the way I think I do," Izayoi said before getting up and going back in the house.

"I know and I fear that more than jail," Sesshoumaru whispered quietly as he watched his step mother leave.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thanks for the reviews. Please keep them coming!


	4. Anger

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha!

**Chapter 4: Anger**

Kagome opened the door to Sango and Miroku's house and hollered, "Hey! We're here!" Shippo ran over to Sango's boys, Ryo and Kin, and began playing with some toys. Sango came around the corner of the kitchen and raced across the living room to tackle Kagome in a hug.

"You didn't call, sweetie. We were starting to worry!" Sango said as she hugged Kagome again.

"Sorry about that. My cell died and I forgot my car charger at home," Kagome said as Sango's brother Kohaku came into the living room.

"Need help, Kags?" Kohaku asked as he walked over to the women.

"Yes please. Brought a lot more than I thought I would so have more bags than normal," Kagome stated and laughed.

"Trunk open?" Kohaku asked as he slipped some sandals on.

"Nope, but here's the keys," Kagome replied and handed her car keys to him.

"Okay, I'll get the bags. You go in and have a seat with Sango. Relax! You're on vacation!" Kohaku exclaimed as he laughed.

Vacation. Right. "Yeah, a busy one, but one none the less," Kagome replied with a smile as she watched Kohaku head out the door. Sango ushered her into the kitchen and sat her down at the table. Kagome braced herself and put on her best smile. She knew what was coming and had been preparing for it all day.

Sango sat down across from her and eyed Kagome carefully before asking, "How are you holding up?"

"Great actually. Been really busy with work and Shippo and…." Kagome began but stopped when Sango glared at her.

"You know what I mean. Kagura's been telling people that you're suicidal, Kagome. Is that true?" Sango questioned worriedly.

_A bit. _"No. You know as well as I do that if something happened to me, Shippo would end up in foster care somewhere and I'll be damned if I let that happen," Kagome responded.

"But you still haven't let Sesshoumaru go, have you?" Sango asked quietly.

Damn. "No. It's hard when he keeps yanking me back, Sango. I think some part of him realizes what he had and what he's losing, so he's not letting me go. I lost track of how many times I've told him to fuck off or that I wanted nothing more to do with him, but I lie to myself when I say it. Bad part is, he knows I lie when I tell him that," Kagome replied with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. By the way, did Izayoi ever tell you that she's the one taking Rin to school every morning?" Sango inquired.

"What? Kagura's not doing it? I thought that since Sesshoumaru was working, Kagura was responsible for Rin," Kagome said.

"Nope. Apparently, Kagura stays up most of the night so she doesn't have to take Rin to school. Izayoi even said she hardly sees Kagura. Kagura's upstairs all the time while Rin's downstairs with Izayoi and Toga," Sango informed her.

"Why?" Kagome questioned.

"She always claims to have a headache or backache or her foot hurts or some other nonsense so she doesn't have to keep Rin upstairs with her. It's bad enough that she calls the house phone or txts Sesshoumaru to bring her food or something to drink," Sango stated.

"Why that lazy fucking…." Kagome stopped and growled slightly before taking a calming breath, "I can't believe he puts up with that. I've _never _pulled that crap in my life and hate when people are that damn lazy."

"I know, sweetie. I know. You're a million times better than Kagura on several levels. Sesshoumaru's just not seeing that. Or if he is, he doesn't let on," Sango stated thoughtfully.

"Yep. Anyway, how's things going with you?" Kagome asked to change the subject. Sango didn't fail her and began rambling about something or other that Kagome wasn't really listening to. She started going back through the relationships she had in the past. Her ex-husband, Kouga, who was Shippo's father, the guy, Hojo, who she dated after her divorce, Sesshoumaru, and the last one, Ryosuke.

-----

_Ryosuke…there was a mistake. Kagome recalled that, at the beginning of last year while Sesshoumaru was trying to pull away from both Kagome and Kagura and date a woman named Kanna, she herself had gotten together with Ryosuke and had moved in with him. _

_Ryosuke was controlling, self-centered, and an all around jerk. The man had even gone so far as to tell her she wasn't raising Shippo correctly. He barely paid attention to Kagome at all and any attention she did receive was in the form of yelling. Needless to say, Kagome retaliated. _

_Sesshoumaru had been Ryosuke's biggest problem with Kagome. Ryosuke was always telling her that she needed to break off contact with Sesshoumaru and stop helping him. Kagome, of course, stood up for Sesshoumaru and told Ryosuke that she wouldn't do that. Finally, after six months of Ryosuke's attitude and self-centeredness, Kagome asked Sesshoumaru for a favor. _

_Sesshoumaru had eagerly obliged and set it up to where she and he would be caught in the car at Bankotsu's house. Bankotsu was fully aware of what was happening and called Ryosuke to come rushing over to the house. When Ryosuke arrived, Sesshoumaru and Kagome were both naked in the backseat completely unaware of his arrival. It wasn't until Ryosuke starting screaming at the two of them that Sesshoumaru calmly pulled Kagome out of the car with him and grabbed his shirt and boxers. Sesshoumaru slid his boxers on while Kagome pulled his shirt on to cover themselves. Then, he'd focused on Ryosuke and told him to leave that Kagome and Shippo were coming with him._

Kagome's thoughts shifted again….

_Kagome had been ecstatic when Sesshoumaru had gotten her and Shippo out of the mess with Ryosuke. It had taken her three days to pack and get her stuff moved to a storage unit. When they'd packed and had gotten to the Taisho home again, Kagome had barely got in the door when Sesshoumaru turned to her with a bit of guilty look. _

"_Kagome?" he said quietly. _

_Kagome turned her head to look at him and an alarm began going off in the back of her mind. She tensed. _

"_Kagura's upstairs," Sesshoumaru supplied then looked at the floor, "Rin asked her to move back in and well, I let her." _

_Kagome glared at him, stormed into the kitchen, and grabbed the phone off the wall. She dialed a number and waited till the person on the other end picked up. "Mom? Do you mind if Shippo and I come back? I've had all I can take and need to get out of here." _

"_Kagome, wait!" Sesshoumaru bolted into the kitchen and grabbed the phone from her, "You can't leave!" _

"_I'M DONE!" Kagome screamed at him with every ounce of her anger at the situation flowing out of her. "Every time I think you're doing well to get away from that…that BITCH, you let her back in! I love you, you fucking dumb ass! Yet, You don't give me a chance! Why!? " Kagome roared as she got in his face. _

_Sesshoumaru had tensed and had got angry enough that he was clenching his fists to keep from hitting her and snapped back, "You don't fucking get it! I love HER, not YOU! Get that through your fucking skull!" With that, Sesshoumaru shoved the phone back in Kagome's hand and stormed up the stairs. _

_-----_

"Kagome?" Sango questioned snapping Kagome out of her reverie.

"Yeah? Sorry, was remembering something," Kagome replied with a blush.

"I asked if you wanted something to eat," Sango said with a worried look on her face.

"Yes please," Kagome said with a smile. She watched as Sango got a plate down for her and then her thoughts drifted to two weeks after she'd moved.

-----

_Kagome sat on the steps of her mother's house watching Shippo run through the yard. She sighed and rubbed the middle of her forehead. Then heard a beep from her cell phone. Picking it up, she flipped it open to see she had a txt from Sesshoumaru. _

'_Call me please, Kagome' was all it said. _

_Sighing, Kagome dialed Sesshoumaru's number. "What'd you need?" Kagome asked. _

"_Look, I'm sorry. I got mad at you for no reason and want you to come back. Please," Sesshoumaru practically whined into the phone. _

"_Why'd you yell at me?" Kagome questioned. _

"_You know what happens when people scream at me. It was an automatic reaction. I didn't mean anything I said. Please just come home," Sesshoumaru replied. _

"_Let me think about it and I'll call you with my answer, okay?" Kagome said. _

"_Alright. I was an ass to you and really didn't mean it. Things are just…complicated for me right now. Rin asking Kagura to move back then Kagura just basically parking herself here. To top that off, Kanna broke up with me because of Kagura and I don't want to lose you too," Sesshoumaru pleaded. _

"_We'll see. Now, I've got to go. It's dinner time and Shippo's hungry," Kagome replied. _

"_Okay. I'll call you tomorrow," Sesshoumaru said. _

_-----_

"Hey, you going over to see Toga and Izayoi tomorrow?" Sango asked as she sat down across from Kagome again.

"Yep. Toga said something about wanting to show me the remodel they did to the kitchen," Kagome said as she dove into her plate of spaghetti.

* * *

_Meanwhile with Sesshoumaru…_

Sesshoumaru was furious. The cause of his anger was sitting in front of him with a smile on her face, Kagura. _Damn it!_

"I'm not going," Sesshoumaru bit out through clenched teeth.

"Oh yes you are. If not, then Rin's coming with me and won't be coming back. She likes it better there anyway, right, lady bug?" Kagura asked her daughter.

Rin looked at her mother then her father and quietly said, "Yes, mommy," before looking down at the bed sheet.

"Good. Problem solved then. If you want Rin to stay with you, you _have_ to take me to my appointment tomorrow," Kagura stated with a smirk on her face.

"Fine!" Sesshoumaru hollered before storming out of the room. He reached the stairs and stomped down the steps. He slammed the door at the bottom of the stairs and stomped through the kitchen before throwing himself down on the couch in the living room.

"Everything okay, Sess?" Toga asked from the recliner.

"No! Kagura's threatening to run off with Rin again so I have to take her to her fucking appointment and Kagome's up from her mom's house. I wanted to see her, god damn it," Sesshoumaru grumbled.

"Well, Kagome's coming over tomorrow. What do you want me to tell her?" Toga inquired.

"Just tell her I'm sorry, but I had to cancel our plans at the last minute," Sesshoumaru stated then sighed, " I hate this and Kagome's going to be hurt again, but what can I do about it?"

"I don't know, Sesshoumaru. You're going to have to figure it out or see if Kagome can help you figure it out. She's better with legal stuff than I am," Toga replied.

"That's an idea actually," Sesshoumaru said before sighing and turning over on the couch. Rin came in and climbed onto the couch with him. He smiled at her and the two drifted off to sleep while Sesshoumaru imagined Kagura burning alive while he and Kagome stood smiling at her.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Kagura sat smiling to herself. "Well, that was easy and Kagome won't be able to steal Sesshoumaru from me this weekend," she said with a laugh. Logging onto her computer, Kagura saw that her other boyfriend was online. She laughed to herself cause she couldn't believe Sesshoumaru still hadn't realized she'd been cheating on him. It was kind of funny considering Kagura felt nothing for Sesshoumaru anymore. She was only using him to keep Kagome miserable. After all, Kagome deserved it.

To her, Kagome was trying to break up her family. She, Sesshoumaru, and Rin had been a family for four years. Sesshoumaru had made her mad, so she decided to teach him a lesson by throwing him in jail for assault then divorcing him to prove to him that he needed her. Kagura thought Sesshoumaru loved her enough that he'd never be able to move on from her. However, Kagome had come in and interfered in Kagura's plan to keep Sesshoumaru supporting her. Kagura knew that if anyone could make Sesshoumaru stop paying for her, Kagome could. If that happened, then Kagura would have to get a job and that didn't sit well with her at all. In her mind, Kagura deserved to be treated like a queen not be stuck working like most people. Kagome had to go.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Now, I know the story is jumping around a bit and that Sesshoumaru is way out of character, but in order for this to work the way I want it to, it has to be that way. Thanks so much for the reviews and any input is welcome. Have a good day!


	5. Loss

**Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha!**

**Chapter Five: Loss**

Kagome's head hurt. That much was certain as she struggled to open her eyes. Part of the reason her head was hurting was the annoying beeping sound coming from the right of her. _'Where am I?'_ she thought as she finally got her eyes open. Everything was blurry, but she appeared to be in a hospital room of some sort.

"Hey, you're awake," Sesshoumaru's voice sounded from somewhere to her left. Kagome tried to turn her head to look at him, but her neck seemed to be in a brace so she couldn't move it. "Don't move too much. You're pretty banged up," Sesshoumaru whispered as he got closer to the bed.

"What happened?" she asked. Her voice sounded rough like she hadn't used it in days.

"You had a really bad accident, Kagome. Don't you remember? You rear ended a semi. The police said your brakes failed and you weren't able to stop. It was bad. Your car's completely totaled cause after you hit the semi, an SUV hit you. Doctor said it was a miracle you survived," Sesshoumaru informed her quietly and brushed a stray hair from her cheek.

"Shippo?" Kagome questioned tearfully. _'Don't say it. Don't say it!' _Kagome's mind screamed. Her gut was telling her what had happened to her son, but she didn't want to hear the next words from Sesshoumaru's mouth.

"He didn't make it, Kagome. I'm sorry," Sesshoumaru said sadly. He maneuvered his way closer to her and tried to hold her as best he could as the tears began falling down her cheeks. Really, there was nothing that could be done. Losing a parent was one thing, but a child? He couldn't begin to imagine what Kagome was feeling. In a way, he felt the same as she did. Though Shippo wasn't his, he didn't claim otherwise when the doctor had asked him if he was the father and gave him the news. Shippo was Kagome's son, therefore, a part of her and he'd accepted them both. In his heart, Kagome, Shippo and Rin were his. His family. Now, they'd lost a child and he was powerless to stop Kagome's grief. Realizing Kagome had cried herself back to sleep, Sesshoumaru carefully laid her back down and sat next to her. Carefully taking her hand in his, he sat and stared at her.

How? How in the hell could things have gotten like this? The child he claimed as his son was dead. His love was injured badly enough that the doctors weren't sure she'd ever be able to walk again. If only she'd never been headed back to Mississippi. If only she'd come home like he'd asked her to. This could've been prevented. No, none of this was Kagome's doing, it was his. He was the one that had pushed her away; made her leave all because he was too much of a coward to stand up to his ex-wife. No more. If Kagura wanted to put him in jail then so be it. Kagome didn't deserve this. She deserved to have him be there for her, love her, marry her, and spend the rest of their lives together. If it took him the rest of his life, he would make up for his mistakes, for Shippo's loss, and for his own stupidity. He'd do everything in his power just to see Kagome happy again. Just to see her smile at him with the trust, love, and understanding she used to.

"She'll be okay," Kouga said causing Sesshoumaru to jump slightly.

"What?" Sesshoumaru questioned quietly.

"I said she'll be okay," Kouga stated again as he sat next to him, "As long as you're with her, she'll be fine."

"How would you know?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Shippo's loss is going to be hard on her, but with you there, I'm sure she'll be just fine. I may not have been much to Shippo or Kagome, for that matter, but you…you're more dear to Kagome than I ever was. I saw it. The way her whole face lit up when you came in the room, the way she smiled at you, the way her eyes would sparkle when you were playing with Shippo, and the way she'd frown when you'd make a bad joke," Kouga said with a chuckle, "That's why I say she'll be fine. It'll take her a while, but you two will be okay in the end."

"You seem to be taking all this well," Sesshoumaru noted.

"Well, I'm doing the best I can. Shippo was my son, but, due to my own mistakes, I didn't really bond with him. I regret that and will for a long time, but right now, Kagome's the one that needs help. Shippo was her world and she's going to need a lot of support to help her get through this. That's why I'm here cause you look as if you need a swift kick in the ass. Kagome loves you and without you, she'd fall completely apart," Kouga said calmly, "I had my time with her. Don't waste yours."

Sesshoumaru watched as Kouga stood up and moved toward the door. His gaze shifted back to Kagome for a moment before Kouga's voice sounded from the doorway.

"I'll take care of the funeral arrangements for Shippo. Kagome needs to concentrate on getting better right now, so I'll deal with all that. You, stay with her. If I so much as hear that you've left this hospital for any reason, I'm going to come back and kick your ass, got me?" Kouga stated.

"Yes. I'll be with her. Thank you, Kouga," Sesshoumaru replied. He watched as Kouga left and smiled a little. He'd keep that promise. Kagome needed him now more than ever and he'd be damned if he let anything happen to her again. With that, Sesshoumaru laid his head next to their joined hands and fell asleep.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Kagura was fuming. Three days! Sesshoumaru had been gone for three days and to top that off, his phone was turned off and laying on the kitchen table downstairs. Damn it. The bitch had lived! What the hell had gone wrong?

Kagura went back over everything that she'd planned out to make sure Kagome was out of the picture. Brake lines had been cut like they needed to be, so there was no explanation as to why that stupid bitch had lived. The crash should've killed her! Damn it.

"MOMMY!" Rin screamed for the third time in two minutes.

"What!" Kagura yelled. Damn. What the hell was Rin doing up here again? Didn't she specifically tell Toga to keep the brat downstairs?

"Is Aunt Kagome going to be okay? What about Shippo? Is he okay?" Rin asked.

"I don't know and don't care. Go back downstairs!" Kagura hollered at her.

"Okay," Rin said quietly before heading downstairs again. Rin couldn't help but be worried. Kagome was like a mother to her. Shippo was her brother. Rin knew her real mom didn't care about her much. Kagome, on the other hand, did. To Rin, Kagome was her mom. Kagome loved her, took care of her, and was there for her. Rin was only five but she knew the difference between a good person and a bad one. Her real mother wasn't a good person, Rin saw that now. Kagome was a good person. Rin hoped that someday her daddy and the one she considered her mom would be together. Rin stopped in the kitchen doorway and watched her grandfather hang up the phone before he turned to his wife.

"Kagome's going to be fine. Though they aren't sure at this point if she'll be able to walk again, but hopefully, she will," Toga said as he sat down in a chair.

"That's good. What about Shippo?" Izayoi asked.

"Shippo…He's…dead," Toga whispered and wiped a tear from his eye, "They said he died shortly after he got to the ER. His injuries were far worse and he lost too much blood by the time they got to him."

Izayoi gasped and Rin started bawling. Rin ran and jumped in Toga's lap before burying her face in his shirt and crying even harder. Her brother was gone, her mom was hurt, and she was stuck here! "I want my mom!" Rin screamed suddenly. She looked up at her grandfather, "Please, grandpa, take me to mom. I have to see her! Please please please!"

"Okay, but you need to calm down first, sweetie," Toga said as he wiped his cheek again, "We don't want your mom seeing us like this, do we? She's already hurting enough as it is."

Rin wiped her face as Toga and Izayoi stood. Toga carried Rin to the car and the three got in and headed for the hospital. On the ride there, a thought filtered into Toga's head. "You know, things are going to change now. Sesshoumaru's not going to let Kagome out of his sight from now on," he said as switched lanes.

"I was thinking the same thing. With the accident then Shippo, there's no way he'll let her go again," Izayoi commented.

"Daddy shouldn't have to begin with!" Rin chimed in from the backseat.

"Yes, sweetie. Things get confusing to adults sometimes, so we do dumb things. Your daddy definitely did something dumb when he let her go the first time," Toga replied.

"Grandpa?" Rin questioned, "Will mom be okay?"

Toga sighed. "It will be a while, hunny. Kagome's been injured and has lost her only child, but I'm sure that if you and your daddy are there, along with her friends and family, she'll be just fine," he responded.

"I hope so. I lost my brother. I don't want to lose mom too," Rin said quietly.

* * *

_With Sesshoumaru and Kagome…_

"Sess? Could you hand me my purse please?" Kagome asked quietly. She'd woken about an hour ago and was still sniffling a little. Sesshoumaru just sat watching her and wiping a tear from her face every once in a while. Kagome smiled a little. At least he hadn't left her yet. She'd probably crack completely if he hadn't been there.

"Here, sweetheart," Sesshoumaru said as he handed her purse to her, "Did you need something specific out of here? I can get it so you don't have to move too much. I know you're in pain."

"My wallet please," Kagome said and smiled at him. He was actually concerned for her. She'd almost given up hope on him, but here he was, trying his damnedest to make sure she was alright. It helped a bit.

"Here you go," Sesshoumaru said quietly as he handed her the wallet. He then sat the purse back on the floor and seated himself next to her on the bed. He watched as she smiled at him and opened her wallet before she sighed and pulled a picture out of it.

Kagome smiled as she looked at the picture. It was Shippo's preschool picture and he looked absolutely adorable in it. She handed it to Sesshoumaru and smiled when he gave her a confused look. "I know they'll want pictures for the visitation and funeral. I'd like that to be one of them. By the way, who's taking care of all that?" Kagome questioned sadly.

"Kouga said he'd handle that. He just wants you to concentrate on getting better. I'm sure he'll delay the funeral until you're out of here though," Sesshoumaru responded quietly. He had to take a deep breath to keep himself from shedding tears. The orange haired little boy, who he considered his son, was smiling back at him in the picture and it hurt. It hurt him knowing he wouldn't be able to see Shippo's smile again. Wouldn't be able to hear his laugh again. It hit him suddenly that he did know exactly how Kagome felt and, before he could stop it, a tear escaped his eye. Just as suddenly, he felt Kagome's hand on his cheek wiping the tear away.

"Shippo wouldn't want us acting like babies about this. It's okay to cry though. He was a very sweet little angel and, with some time, the pain will go away. I know there wasn't anything I could have done to save him and I feel horrible without him, but time is a good healer and that's all we need," Kagome stated quietly.

"Always optimistic. Even when you've lost someone so precious," Toga's voice sounded from the door. Toga, Izayoi, and Rin came into the room then and Kagome smiled at all of them.

"Well, which would you prefer? My optimism or me being horribly depressed? I know I've got others in my life to care about and I'm going to miss Shippo more than anyone, but I can't let myself get down. Not when Shippo helped me see that I do have people that care about me just as much as I do them. It wouldn't be fair to my son for me to sit around moping all the time when that's not what he'd remember me for," Kagome stated.

"You're a much stronger woman than me, Kagome," Izayoi said as she and Toga sat in the chairs at the end of the bed.

"No I'm not, Izayoi. We're both equal in one aspect," Kagome said as Rin climbed on the bed to her left and carefully curled into her side, "We're mothers."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much for the reviews. I really had a hard time writing this chapter. Cried a couple of times, but I'm just a softy. Please keep the reviews coming and Have a good day!


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